If I Lose Myself
by Alexandermylove
Summary: She had known him when he was nothing more than a mundane. When he was all angles and gangly limbs and practically surgically attached to his best friend's hip. (Sizzy!)


**A/N: So I was asked quite some time ago by tumblr user piccolily to write some Sizzy. They wanted a fluffy scene after Simon had already ascended but alas my brain did not want to deliver that. I was hit by inspiration today and I wrote this in all of an hour but hopefully it's alright? Some of the details might not be as accurate as I would like- I'm actually 80 and it's been a while since I've read these books- so just bear with me here.**

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She had known him when he was nothing more than a mundane. When he was all angles and gangly limbs and practically surgically attached to his best friend's hip.

She remembers being interested even when he was the complete opposite of what she usually went for. The boys she dated were strong and wild and made her parent's lips pull down in the corners. But Simon- Simon had been kind, had made her laugh, and even though he noticed all of her bare skin, curves, and killer heels- it was hard not to- he saw more than that. He was confusing and didn't make sense at times and she herself was not the easiest person to get to know and befriend. But with one look- one look was all she needed to know that he saw more of her than all of her boyfriend's combined had ever seen.

She had brushed it off. She continued to smile and flirt and dance around him but made sure that she kept her heart guarded.

But then he had saved them- the first time- he wielded a bow and arrow just as well as her older brother and bought them enough time to get Alec out and healed before it was too late.

If anyone had asked, she would say that she kept smiling, kept flirting, kept dancing because she owed him a debt and it was the least she could do. She refused to acknowledge that the words were not true.

And then she had known him as a vampire. He was colder- literally- and had less of an appetite but he was still the same. He was still funny, he was still kind and brave and smart and it made her heart stutter in her chest.

When she smiled at him, she smiled with her whole being. When she flirted, she meant every word and every lingering touch.

He was so different from anyone that she had ever known and it made her start to become different too. He changed her, reworked her skeletal structure, drained her with blood and then filled her back up again- made her change from a girl who had walls built up and her heart protected to one whose heart could be broken with a single action, an intention, a hand full of words.

He kept saving them but every time he did put a strain on himself as best, and endangered his life at worst. He had stood up against Lilith, Raziel, and lastly Magnus' father and after having to watch it all, she might as well have been empty. Her heart might as well have shattered and turned to dust in his chest.

She had known him for what felt like so long, had known him with crooked glasses and lopsided smiles and bad jokes. She had known him with sleepless nights and a body that craved blood and a mark on his head that he should not have had to bear. She knew him, she had let him know her as well-

And then he no longer did.

Every time she thought of him not knowing her, not recognizing her, not remembering her name, hurt like a knife wound. This was the first time she had ever been in love and she had barely had any time to hold it and cherish it and be thankful that it had come her way.

Months passed and she was able to more or less accept it. Accept her loss and pull herself together to go to Jocelyn and Luke's wedding.

But he was there too.

Simon was there with her on the dance floor and he was now different- worlds away from the Simon that she had once known- but still completely the same in all the ways that mattered.

All it took was his familiar voice forming her name- her full name: ' _Isabelle'_ , and she was gone.

The months of separation no longer mattered.

Nothing else mattered but him and her.

Simon and Isabelle.

Together again.

 _At last._

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 **A/N: So how was it? This was my first Sizzy story _ever_ so please leave me a comment letting me know what you thought! **

**-Alexandermylove**

 **p.s. if anyone who has read this also follows 'Like Real People do' I have the next chapter written it's just taking me some tome to edit, it will be up soon I promise.**


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